Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2014 Movie Torrent Download Kickass
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One-Dimensional Hollywood Fluff with Lousy Writing and Over-the-top Action..(spoilers)theLuauKing8 August 2014
Watch Teenage Mutant Turtles 2014
I'm not even quite sure where to begin with this movie. I mean, I had decent hopes for it. Leading up to it, so many people seemed to be taking it way to seriously. I mean, come on. Its about giant talking turtles who fight crime. Its not supposed to be that serious. Hoo, boy.
I guess I'll just start by saying this (spoilers ahead), the changes they made to the origin story don't make any goddamn sense, both in terms of simple logic and quality narrative structure. They completely removed any connection between Splinter and the Shredder, so say goodbye to any emotional connection or tension that that would have brought. And this version Splinter wasn't the ninja master, Hamato Yoshi or even a pet/student of Yoshi. In fact, Yoshi seems to have been omitted completely. So, how does Splinter become a ninja master himself? He reads a book. I'm not even joking. After both he and the turtles mutate he finds a book and teaches himself. And it wasn't even at the very beginning. I mean when Splinter begin teaching himself, the turtles are already walking and talking. He not only learned all of ninjitsu but also somehow mastered it, without any instruction or sparring, in less than ten years? AND he taught it to the turtles? BULLSHIT.
The turtles themselves are one of the few not-terrible parts of the movie. All of there individual personalities are right where they should be but we are also kind of short-changed on the amount of interaction they have with each other. A bunch of brothers together, getting up to shenanigans? What a great, natural way to have conflict! But no, the movie follows April way too much.
All of that is indicative of a larger problem with the writing. Both of the villains are BORING. The pacing is uneven and a lot of the dialogue is forced and ham-handed, Michelangelo was the worse in that respect. And believe me, I get it. Mikey is the loud mouth, party turtle. But is is possible (kind of necessary) that if a main character is annoying, to also be likable. Yes, it possible. Severus Snape. Perry Cox. Deadpool. These are all characters that are bad or annoying people but still likable as characters. After a few minutes of listening to Michelangelo, I just wanted him to shut the hell up.
It doesn't get any better with the villains. I don't remember the last time I watched a movie with such boring villains. Instead of just sticking with one main villain, the Shredder, we now have two..for some reason. WE have Eric Sachs, who is a rich scientist/industrialist and the Shredder, an evil ninja master with no personality. Eric Sachs is working for the Shredder for money? But isn't he already like a billionaire with a castle on a mountain and his own skyscraper?Doe he need more money? What the hell for? Shredder is the most shallow and one-dimensional out of this whole damn movie. We're not really told anything of his back story or shown any of his motivation for anything. The foot clan is also no longer a group of ninja warriors, they're..guys with guns. Completely useless guys with guns (that'll be relevant later).
They also unnecessarily tie April, Sachs and April's dad into the turtles' back story..for some reason. We don't even really meet April's father. And April is the one who saved them from the lab fire that killed her father..or wait, was it Eric who killed her father? The movie seems to confused on that point. And instead of keeping the baby turtles (like any little girl who likes animals would do) she..dumps them in the sewer? What the hell? The who thing is convoluted and doesn't make any damn sense.
April O'Neil is uninteresting and stupid. Seriously, I mean she is unintelligent. She is supposedly an educated journalist but spends so much time trying to convince he boss of a 'story' of talking, crime- fighting turtles without one single goddamn lick of evidence. Vernon Fenway is apparently supposed to be the comic relief but none of his jokes are funny and his sole role in the film seems to be driving April around. And why the hell is Whoopi Goldberg in this? She had like six lines. Why is she here?
The camera-work was clichéd and chaotic. There were times when the camera was moving around too much for you to easily follow the action. There is also a serious lack of cool martial arts fights for a NINJA Turtles movie, which is not surprising when you turn their main antagonists from ninja into guys with guns. I also couldn't even begin to take the Shredder serious in the action scenes. Are those giant swiss army knives on his hands? What the hell?
Finally, the one thing, in my opinion, that sort of breaks the movie the most is that they made the turtles too damn powerful. Yes, the turtles are kind of superheroes. But wasn't being a bunch of kick-ass ninjas enough? No? You gotta give them super strength too? AND MAKE THEM BULLET PROOF!? Remember the previously said bit about the foot being a bunch of guys with guns? Yeah..you might see where I am going with this. It was bad enough to see the turtles throwing cars around and shattering concrete with punches. On some level, the audience needs to believe on some sort of fundamental level that the heroes are danger, that the threats that they face have meaning. Without that, there is no tension, no real conflict and with that..no excitement. No story.
This movie nuked the fridge.
I guess I'll just start by saying this (spoilers ahead), the changes they made to the origin story don't make any goddamn sense, both in terms of simple logic and quality narrative structure. They completely removed any connection between Splinter and the Shredder, so say goodbye to any emotional connection or tension that that would have brought. And this version Splinter wasn't the ninja master, Hamato Yoshi or even a pet/student of Yoshi. In fact, Yoshi seems to have been omitted completely. So, how does Splinter become a ninja master himself? He reads a book. I'm not even joking. After both he and the turtles mutate he finds a book and teaches himself. And it wasn't even at the very beginning. I mean when Splinter begin teaching himself, the turtles are already walking and talking. He not only learned all of ninjitsu but also somehow mastered it, without any instruction or sparring, in less than ten years? AND he taught it to the turtles? BULLSHIT.
The turtles themselves are one of the few not-terrible parts of the movie. All of there individual personalities are right where they should be but we are also kind of short-changed on the amount of interaction they have with each other. A bunch of brothers together, getting up to shenanigans? What a great, natural way to have conflict! But no, the movie follows April way too much.
All of that is indicative of a larger problem with the writing. Both of the villains are BORING. The pacing is uneven and a lot of the dialogue is forced and ham-handed, Michelangelo was the worse in that respect. And believe me, I get it. Mikey is the loud mouth, party turtle. But is is possible (kind of necessary) that if a main character is annoying, to also be likable. Yes, it possible. Severus Snape. Perry Cox. Deadpool. These are all characters that are bad or annoying people but still likable as characters. After a few minutes of listening to Michelangelo, I just wanted him to shut the hell up.
It doesn't get any better with the villains. I don't remember the last time I watched a movie with such boring villains. Instead of just sticking with one main villain, the Shredder, we now have two..for some reason. WE have Eric Sachs, who is a rich scientist/industrialist and the Shredder, an evil ninja master with no personality. Eric Sachs is working for the Shredder for money? But isn't he already like a billionaire with a castle on a mountain and his own skyscraper?Doe he need more money? What the hell for? Shredder is the most shallow and one-dimensional out of this whole damn movie. We're not really told anything of his back story or shown any of his motivation for anything. The foot clan is also no longer a group of ninja warriors, they're..guys with guns. Completely useless guys with guns (that'll be relevant later).
They also unnecessarily tie April, Sachs and April's dad into the turtles' back story..for some reason. We don't even really meet April's father. And April is the one who saved them from the lab fire that killed her father..or wait, was it Eric who killed her father? The movie seems to confused on that point. And instead of keeping the baby turtles (like any little girl who likes animals would do) she..dumps them in the sewer? What the hell? The who thing is convoluted and doesn't make any damn sense.
April O'Neil is uninteresting and stupid. Seriously, I mean she is unintelligent. She is supposedly an educated journalist but spends so much time trying to convince he boss of a 'story' of talking, crime- fighting turtles without one single goddamn lick of evidence. Vernon Fenway is apparently supposed to be the comic relief but none of his jokes are funny and his sole role in the film seems to be driving April around. And why the hell is Whoopi Goldberg in this? She had like six lines. Why is she here?
The camera-work was clichéd and chaotic. There were times when the camera was moving around too much for you to easily follow the action. There is also a serious lack of cool martial arts fights for a NINJA Turtles movie, which is not surprising when you turn their main antagonists from ninja into guys with guns. I also couldn't even begin to take the Shredder serious in the action scenes. Are those giant swiss army knives on his hands? What the hell?
Finally, the one thing, in my opinion, that sort of breaks the movie the most is that they made the turtles too damn powerful. Yes, the turtles are kind of superheroes. But wasn't being a bunch of kick-ass ninjas enough? No? You gotta give them super strength too? AND MAKE THEM BULLET PROOF!? Remember the previously said bit about the foot being a bunch of guys with guns? Yeah..you might see where I am going with this. It was bad enough to see the turtles throwing cars around and shattering concrete with punches. On some level, the audience needs to believe on some sort of fundamental level that the heroes are danger, that the threats that they face have meaning. Without that, there is no tension, no real conflict and with that..no excitement. No story.
This movie nuked the fridge.
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Saw for free, still feel ripped off.Permalink
H_Spengler13 September 2014
Warning: SpoilersSeriously, Michael Bay & Co. should pay me for sitting through this ridiculous pile of tripe.
Grew up with the comics and cartoon show, loved the 1990 movie. Every sense I possess was repeatedly violated with this poor excuse of a greedy cash grab and pizza hut endorsement.
I knew not to expect, well, anything really that has Michael Bay's name attached to it, but somehow still managed to be surprised at the sheer badness.
The turtles themselves look strange, and act strange. Michaleangelo is like some weird semi-gangsta who is downright creepy in a continuing reference obsession with April O'Neil. Raphael is aloof, but exists little beyond that. That's as far as they went trying to define either one of them.
Leonardo, the brave leader, was completely robbed of his personality, characteristics, leadership and anything that would define him, and has always in the past. He is instead a dissolved Bouillon cube in a large pot of water..bland, bland, bland. His voice (Johnny Knoxville) is miscast, and would've been better befitting either Mikey or Raph..that is if they'd bothered to give them any personality.
The biggest violations however, lay with Donatello and Splinter, as it seems they thought that hyper-charging the characters would somehow make them interesting, endearing or watchable. 'Donatello does machines' translates into exploiting him as a constant, textbook, super nerd. And he does absolutely nothing beyond that. Also, he looks like a Ghostbuster. Say hi to Dr. Donatello Stantz.
Instead of making Splinter the wise, insightful, deep, sensei he always has been, he's instead to a cardboard cutout that does a lot of 'action stuff'. Don't get me wrong, the Splinter of the cartoon and comics could certainly hold his own, but violence was always the last resort, and had a rationale. (reminds me of what they did to Yoda in the Star Wars prequels.) And he learns Ninjitsu from a book in the sewer, gone is any mysticism or any pivotal, emotional, or vital connection to important characters in the story.
Shredder is lame. There's no other way to put it. He is also a hyper charged extension 'more blades piled on the suit will make him better!' He is unrecognizable beyond the pile of CGI blades, has no depth, no real motivation, and feels needlessly shoe horned into the 'story' Especially since they terminated any connection with Splinter, or the long important history between them. (by the way, welcome to 'plot convenience playhouse' when you find out that the turtles and Splinter were pets of April's when she was a girl. How convenient.
The biggest human violation is no doubt Megan Fox, who continues to show she's a vapid, terrible actress, incapable of emotion, facial expressions, or the ability to close her mouth. She's absolutely terrible and is no April O'Neil. Michael Bay continues to have an obsession with Megan Fox like you would not believe.
She also has no class, instead of choosing to take criticism constructively and look to improving herself and growing into a mature, capable lady, she instead publicly insults any who bashes this movie; (rightfully so) by saying 'f**k you'. Real mature Megan, and a great example for your children.
The best actor of the bunch, William Fichtner. I'm still trying to figure out what purpose he served and why he's in this movie to begin with, I keep looking, but..folks, I got nothing' (why is Will Arnett even here?)
There's also some defiance of physics as a mountain the size of Everest is apparently located not too far outside NYC, complete with a truck that slides down the side of it for ten straight minutes, with fast paced, confusing, unimpressive special effects.
The turtles are ridiculously bullet-proof (which leads me to why are the foot soldiers carrying machine guns? Or any guns for that matter?) The answer I came up with: lazy. Why bother to have some Ninjitsu students, or experts, or extras, in your Ninja movie, when it's easier to have a stunt guy fire a gun. (That or the entire budget went to lame special effects.)
Lots of low energy, thick glass shattering, metal side of van punching through escapes that make no sense at all. A yawn inducing, passionless, 'tower rolling down the buildings of NYC' anti-climatic moments. Lame, just lame.
The solution: a marathon of the late 80's cartoon followed by a viewing of the 1990 movie.just to prove that Michael Bay hadn't killed my soul completely. 1/10.
Grew up with the comics and cartoon show, loved the 1990 movie. Every sense I possess was repeatedly violated with this poor excuse of a greedy cash grab and pizza hut endorsement.
I knew not to expect, well, anything really that has Michael Bay's name attached to it, but somehow still managed to be surprised at the sheer badness.
The turtles themselves look strange, and act strange. Michaleangelo is like some weird semi-gangsta who is downright creepy in a continuing reference obsession with April O'Neil. Raphael is aloof, but exists little beyond that. That's as far as they went trying to define either one of them.
Leonardo, the brave leader, was completely robbed of his personality, characteristics, leadership and anything that would define him, and has always in the past. He is instead a dissolved Bouillon cube in a large pot of water..bland, bland, bland. His voice (Johnny Knoxville) is miscast, and would've been better befitting either Mikey or Raph..that is if they'd bothered to give them any personality.
The biggest violations however, lay with Donatello and Splinter, as it seems they thought that hyper-charging the characters would somehow make them interesting, endearing or watchable. 'Donatello does machines' translates into exploiting him as a constant, textbook, super nerd. And he does absolutely nothing beyond that. Also, he looks like a Ghostbuster. Say hi to Dr. Donatello Stantz.
Instead of making Splinter the wise, insightful, deep, sensei he always has been, he's instead to a cardboard cutout that does a lot of 'action stuff'. Don't get me wrong, the Splinter of the cartoon and comics could certainly hold his own, but violence was always the last resort, and had a rationale. (reminds me of what they did to Yoda in the Star Wars prequels.) And he learns Ninjitsu from a book in the sewer, gone is any mysticism or any pivotal, emotional, or vital connection to important characters in the story.
Shredder is lame. There's no other way to put it. He is also a hyper charged extension 'more blades piled on the suit will make him better!' He is unrecognizable beyond the pile of CGI blades, has no depth, no real motivation, and feels needlessly shoe horned into the 'story' Especially since they terminated any connection with Splinter, or the long important history between them. (by the way, welcome to 'plot convenience playhouse' when you find out that the turtles and Splinter were pets of April's when she was a girl. How convenient.
The biggest human violation is no doubt Megan Fox, who continues to show she's a vapid, terrible actress, incapable of emotion, facial expressions, or the ability to close her mouth. She's absolutely terrible and is no April O'Neil. Michael Bay continues to have an obsession with Megan Fox like you would not believe.
She also has no class, instead of choosing to take criticism constructively and look to improving herself and growing into a mature, capable lady, she instead publicly insults any who bashes this movie; (rightfully so) by saying 'f**k you'. Real mature Megan, and a great example for your children.
The best actor of the bunch, William Fichtner. I'm still trying to figure out what purpose he served and why he's in this movie to begin with, I keep looking, but..folks, I got nothing' (why is Will Arnett even here?)
There's also some defiance of physics as a mountain the size of Everest is apparently located not too far outside NYC, complete with a truck that slides down the side of it for ten straight minutes, with fast paced, confusing, unimpressive special effects.
The turtles are ridiculously bullet-proof (which leads me to why are the foot soldiers carrying machine guns? Or any guns for that matter?) The answer I came up with: lazy. Why bother to have some Ninjitsu students, or experts, or extras, in your Ninja movie, when it's easier to have a stunt guy fire a gun. (That or the entire budget went to lame special effects.)
Lots of low energy, thick glass shattering, metal side of van punching through escapes that make no sense at all. A yawn inducing, passionless, 'tower rolling down the buildings of NYC' anti-climatic moments. Lame, just lame.
The solution: a marathon of the late 80's cartoon followed by a viewing of the 1990 movie.just to prove that Michael Bay hadn't killed my soul completely. 1/10.
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Missing the basics of a great TMNT moviePermalink
slicedbread11713 August 2014
Like many other people, the original 1990 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' movie has a very special place in my childhood. Even if the movie wasn't all that great, it was fantastic for what it was trying to be. Now we're in 2014, where our beloved turtles have been given a whole new lick of paint with a straight-up reboot and have the daunting task of winning the long time TMNT faithful over. Needless to say that for the most part, I am one fan that was not entirely won over.
First and foremost, the Turtles. What is the fundamental premise of the TMNT? They're wise-cracking, pizza-eating, energetic teenagers that just so happen to be mutated ninja turtles that fight crime. The Turtles are goofballs, but in 2014, it's a little bit of a different story. There's still the humor, the jokes and comedy, but now the turtles are massive 6-foot-tall, muscle-bound turtle-men who have a very gritty feel to them, and when they're not in action, look way too real and off-putting. If they weren't green and didn't have shells, the Turtles would literally just be your average hulking action heroes. This franchise is about giant turtles who do martial arts. It's a goofy concept. Giving the Turtles a gritty makeover seems to miss the appeal of the characters in a fundamental way. However, despite the poor design choice of the Turtles, they really are a joy to watch. It might be a lot more serious than you'd expect from TMNT, but the Turtles are still wildly entertaining and more action-fueled than ever with the help of solid effects and choreography that bring the Turtle action to life. If you can withstand the eyesore that the Turtles' design brings, then there is still a lot of old school TMNT magic to revisit.
For the movie's main plot, you have what is essentially the most painfully basic, generic action story that a film can get. The movie is so predictable, it's almost laughable. What is also very disappointing is that the Turtles are no longer fighting crime, even though that's what is essentially believed, but a basic supervillain. Yes, the ultimate TMNT villain Shredder is in the film, but not only does he not get the screen time or proper development he deserves, he's basically cast aside as a secondary villain to the 'I'm rich but have to get richer' villain that is Eric Sacks. It's disappointing to not be able to see the Turtles fight their way through dozens of foot soldiers like the old days, with all of the witty remarks during combat intact. There are still funny lines sputtered during combat, but the action scenes are so limited that there's simply not enough of it.
Not helping is the horrendous casting of Megan Fox as April O'Neil. In 1990, April O'Neil was the hot shot news reporter that made the amazing discovery of the Turtles and she developed an amazing bond with them. She was important to the story no doubt, but wasn't essential in the Turtle's story. Fast forward to 2014, and now April is nothing but the center of attention for everything in the movie, even essential back story information about the Turtles. Megan Fox amazingly gets much more screen time than the Turtles, and every time she comes on screen I cringe until our shelled heroes return. Not every action movie has to have an epic story line or to feel gritty and real. TMNT is supposed to be all about the opposite, but the unfortunate presence of producer Michael Bay is clearly felt in the direction of the film. From the camera shots, to the serious tone of the action to the slow motion parts, this movie has too much of a focus on seriousness, when it should be taking itself very lightly.
Like I stated earlier, despite the off-putting design and feel of the Turtles, they still are a lot of fun to watch and are the lifeblood of the film. What is missing, however, is the strong character development of the Turtles. There isn't enough down time in the movie to really get to know them. Some of the best moments of the 1990 film were in the form of the Turtles hanging out, making jokes, eating pizza and training together. That chemistry was not felt as strongly in the new TMNT and the movie just assumes that you all ready know who and what each Turtle is all about. But all you really find out is that one is a jokester, one's a tech geek, one's the leader and one has anger issues. More down time and better character development would've given the Turtles the extra boost to make them the incredibly entertaining bunch they're meant to be.
Being such a huge TMNT fan, I wanted to have higher expectations for this reboot. But with Megan Fox and Michael Bay attached, the poor look and design of the Turtles, along with the general off-setting feel of the film, I had to come in with lower expectations. There are some wonderful action sequences and the Turtles bring enough pop to the movie to make them likable and fun, but sadly, my low expectations were met in this failed attempt the reboot a childhood classic.
5/10
First and foremost, the Turtles. What is the fundamental premise of the TMNT? They're wise-cracking, pizza-eating, energetic teenagers that just so happen to be mutated ninja turtles that fight crime. The Turtles are goofballs, but in 2014, it's a little bit of a different story. There's still the humor, the jokes and comedy, but now the turtles are massive 6-foot-tall, muscle-bound turtle-men who have a very gritty feel to them, and when they're not in action, look way too real and off-putting. If they weren't green and didn't have shells, the Turtles would literally just be your average hulking action heroes. This franchise is about giant turtles who do martial arts. It's a goofy concept. Giving the Turtles a gritty makeover seems to miss the appeal of the characters in a fundamental way. However, despite the poor design choice of the Turtles, they really are a joy to watch. It might be a lot more serious than you'd expect from TMNT, but the Turtles are still wildly entertaining and more action-fueled than ever with the help of solid effects and choreography that bring the Turtle action to life. If you can withstand the eyesore that the Turtles' design brings, then there is still a lot of old school TMNT magic to revisit.
For the movie's main plot, you have what is essentially the most painfully basic, generic action story that a film can get. The movie is so predictable, it's almost laughable. What is also very disappointing is that the Turtles are no longer fighting crime, even though that's what is essentially believed, but a basic supervillain. Yes, the ultimate TMNT villain Shredder is in the film, but not only does he not get the screen time or proper development he deserves, he's basically cast aside as a secondary villain to the 'I'm rich but have to get richer' villain that is Eric Sacks. It's disappointing to not be able to see the Turtles fight their way through dozens of foot soldiers like the old days, with all of the witty remarks during combat intact. There are still funny lines sputtered during combat, but the action scenes are so limited that there's simply not enough of it.
Not helping is the horrendous casting of Megan Fox as April O'Neil. In 1990, April O'Neil was the hot shot news reporter that made the amazing discovery of the Turtles and she developed an amazing bond with them. She was important to the story no doubt, but wasn't essential in the Turtle's story. Fast forward to 2014, and now April is nothing but the center of attention for everything in the movie, even essential back story information about the Turtles. Megan Fox amazingly gets much more screen time than the Turtles, and every time she comes on screen I cringe until our shelled heroes return. Not every action movie has to have an epic story line or to feel gritty and real. TMNT is supposed to be all about the opposite, but the unfortunate presence of producer Michael Bay is clearly felt in the direction of the film. From the camera shots, to the serious tone of the action to the slow motion parts, this movie has too much of a focus on seriousness, when it should be taking itself very lightly.
Like I stated earlier, despite the off-putting design and feel of the Turtles, they still are a lot of fun to watch and are the lifeblood of the film. What is missing, however, is the strong character development of the Turtles. There isn't enough down time in the movie to really get to know them. Some of the best moments of the 1990 film were in the form of the Turtles hanging out, making jokes, eating pizza and training together. That chemistry was not felt as strongly in the new TMNT and the movie just assumes that you all ready know who and what each Turtle is all about. But all you really find out is that one is a jokester, one's a tech geek, one's the leader and one has anger issues. More down time and better character development would've given the Turtles the extra boost to make them the incredibly entertaining bunch they're meant to be.
Being such a huge TMNT fan, I wanted to have higher expectations for this reboot. But with Megan Fox and Michael Bay attached, the poor look and design of the Turtles, along with the general off-setting feel of the film, I had to come in with lower expectations. There are some wonderful action sequences and the Turtles bring enough pop to the movie to make them likable and fun, but sadly, my low expectations were met in this failed attempt the reboot a childhood classic.
5/10
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A Bad Movie, Not Just a Bad Turtles MoviePermalink
cloudsurfer10 August 2014
Folks, it's no exaggeration when I say this one is bad. And I'm not just reviewing it as a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie. The Ninja Turtles are a lore. Every telling of the story deserves its own version, like Dracula, Sherlock Holmes, or Batman. Adam West, Michael Keaton, Christian Bale, and Ben Affleck all play different versions of Batman in different universes. Though I have a version of the Turtles I like best, I can set aside that prejudice for this review. It's just a very awful film. It's so bad, I don't understand how the current rating stands at 6 stars.
The movie has no real sense of identity, like the filmmakers really had no idea what to do with it. Where are the Turtles going to go? What are they going to do when they get there? Is it going to be spring time or winter? Should it be in the city or in the mountains? Low to the ground in dark settings or high up on roof tops in broad daylight? Are the Turtles stealthy ninjas or mini-Hulks that just needlessly destroy stuff? And are they main characters or secondary plot pieces? Is April O'Neil tech savvy, or does she still conduct interviews with pen and paper? (Through the first half-hour, perhaps even by the end of the film, you'll have a tough time convincing yourself the title shouldn't have been 'April O'Neil: The Movie.')
It's very evident that the writers did not know how to work with 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.' Again, this has nothing to do with a faithfulness to any kind of version of TMNT. Just, really, they had no clue how to make those four elements work. They're not so much teenagers as they are just dumb. The movie lets the Turtles aspect be self-implied. The Mutants part as well, though it does play loosely into the plot (heh, just kidding, there is no plot). The idea of ninjutsu, though, is a complete afterthought. Seriously, it's just sandwiched in there somewhere and plays no relevance to the story whatsoever, nor has an identifying presence for any character, even Splinter or Shredder.
Yeah, Shredder. That's a whole other useless incorporation. The guy is somewhere between a clunky Power Ranger villain (the ones in great big suits that don't move very well) and Bane from 'Batman and Robin.' He doesn't even fill the main villain role. That 'honor' would go to William Fichtner's character, Eric sounds-like-sex Sacks. Shredder's just a tool. His appearance, fighting-style, and overall awkwardness are all loud, awful reminders of how the filmmakers knew nothing about ninjutsu or how to use it. 'You know what? Just make 'em fight with ninja weapons, put lots and lots of blades around, and be sure the word 'Japan' gets into someone's origin story somewhere. Close enough.'
Yes, the Turtles are kind of funny, but it's completely incidental. There were times when the movie tried to force something humorous, but in the theater I was in, no one laughed. And I was in a packed house. Their personalities are nothing but typecasting: Leo is the serious control-freak, Raphael the brooding B.A., Michelangelo is a goof-ball, and Donatello is the inventive.. nerd! Yeah, nerds are inventive, right? Let's make him a snorting, glasses-wearing dork! You know what, just make him Simon from Alvin and the Chipmunks. You never feel like you get to be a part of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. They're just kind of there. The viewer is more watching from April or Vern's vantage point, never fully involved in the brotherhood.
There's a whole lot more stupid that goes on for the sake of convenience: like Donatello's bo able to flip over an SUV, or the fact that an iron construction beam can't support the weight of Leo and Donnie, but Raph who comes to their rescue can (what, are they as heavy as semi-trucks?). Watch out for the abundance of product-placement. This is a Michael Bay produced film, remember. At one point, Splinter pretty much monologues a Pizza Hut ad.
In closing, I want to leave you with this, because until we get this, these horrible, ridiculous movies will continue to get made. In an interview with an MTV whoever, TMNT producer Michael Bay said that he doesn't care if people think his movies are bad. Speaking specifically about the latest Transformers installation, 'They love to hate, and I don't care. Let them hate. They're still going to see the movie!'
This movie is a poo-pile of a film. I'm intentionally avoiding the usual puns like 'it was a shell-acking' or 'I left the theater shell-shocked' because, again, my affinity for the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles has nothing to do with how bad this movie is. As long as we keep paying to see what we know is going to be a bad movie, they'll keep getting made. And it doesn't matter that they're bad, because we'll pay for it no matter how bad it is.
Or maybe these movies keep getting manufactured because there is actually a niche of people who like them. After all, it has a rating of 6 out of 10 stars..
The movie has no real sense of identity, like the filmmakers really had no idea what to do with it. Where are the Turtles going to go? What are they going to do when they get there? Is it going to be spring time or winter? Should it be in the city or in the mountains? Low to the ground in dark settings or high up on roof tops in broad daylight? Are the Turtles stealthy ninjas or mini-Hulks that just needlessly destroy stuff? And are they main characters or secondary plot pieces? Is April O'Neil tech savvy, or does she still conduct interviews with pen and paper? (Through the first half-hour, perhaps even by the end of the film, you'll have a tough time convincing yourself the title shouldn't have been 'April O'Neil: The Movie.')
It's very evident that the writers did not know how to work with 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.' Again, this has nothing to do with a faithfulness to any kind of version of TMNT. Just, really, they had no clue how to make those four elements work. They're not so much teenagers as they are just dumb. The movie lets the Turtles aspect be self-implied. The Mutants part as well, though it does play loosely into the plot (heh, just kidding, there is no plot). The idea of ninjutsu, though, is a complete afterthought. Seriously, it's just sandwiched in there somewhere and plays no relevance to the story whatsoever, nor has an identifying presence for any character, even Splinter or Shredder.
Yeah, Shredder. That's a whole other useless incorporation. The guy is somewhere between a clunky Power Ranger villain (the ones in great big suits that don't move very well) and Bane from 'Batman and Robin.' He doesn't even fill the main villain role. That 'honor' would go to William Fichtner's character, Eric sounds-like-sex Sacks. Shredder's just a tool. His appearance, fighting-style, and overall awkwardness are all loud, awful reminders of how the filmmakers knew nothing about ninjutsu or how to use it. 'You know what? Just make 'em fight with ninja weapons, put lots and lots of blades around, and be sure the word 'Japan' gets into someone's origin story somewhere. Close enough.'
Yes, the Turtles are kind of funny, but it's completely incidental. There were times when the movie tried to force something humorous, but in the theater I was in, no one laughed. And I was in a packed house. Their personalities are nothing but typecasting: Leo is the serious control-freak, Raphael the brooding B.A., Michelangelo is a goof-ball, and Donatello is the inventive.. nerd! Yeah, nerds are inventive, right? Let's make him a snorting, glasses-wearing dork! You know what, just make him Simon from Alvin and the Chipmunks. You never feel like you get to be a part of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. They're just kind of there. The viewer is more watching from April or Vern's vantage point, never fully involved in the brotherhood.
There's a whole lot more stupid that goes on for the sake of convenience: like Donatello's bo able to flip over an SUV, or the fact that an iron construction beam can't support the weight of Leo and Donnie, but Raph who comes to their rescue can (what, are they as heavy as semi-trucks?). Watch out for the abundance of product-placement. This is a Michael Bay produced film, remember. At one point, Splinter pretty much monologues a Pizza Hut ad.
In closing, I want to leave you with this, because until we get this, these horrible, ridiculous movies will continue to get made. In an interview with an MTV whoever, TMNT producer Michael Bay said that he doesn't care if people think his movies are bad. Speaking specifically about the latest Transformers installation, 'They love to hate, and I don't care. Let them hate. They're still going to see the movie!'
This movie is a poo-pile of a film. I'm intentionally avoiding the usual puns like 'it was a shell-acking' or 'I left the theater shell-shocked' because, again, my affinity for the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles has nothing to do with how bad this movie is. As long as we keep paying to see what we know is going to be a bad movie, they'll keep getting made. And it doesn't matter that they're bad, because we'll pay for it no matter how bad it is.
Or maybe these movies keep getting manufactured because there is actually a niche of people who like them. After all, it has a rating of 6 out of 10 stars..
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You really should know what to expect by nowPermalink
JMT-Studios7 August 2014
Here we go
So Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is the reboot to the ever so popular Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles franchise. Directed by Jonathan Liebesman for some reason and produced by Michael Bay, also for some reason. You all know the story by now. 4 mutated turtles grow up in the sewer raised by a giant rat who knows martial arts and trains them so they can protect the city from Shredder. No difference in this movie.
So the movie opens up in sort of a graphic novel type animation telling the story of the turtles which I'll admit was a nice nod to the original source material from which Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles came from. From there we meet April (Megan Fox) who's trying to get a story about the evil foot clan that have been terrorizing the city. She then witnesses the turtles stop them and follows them to get evidence of their existence. The turtles stop her and return to their master who says they need April's help. I won't spoil why. From there they must work together and stop Shredder from releasing a toxin on the city.
I wanted simply one thing from this movie after all the crap I've seen from it over the last few years. I want the turtles to be the turtles. I want them to reflect how they were in the 2003 cartoon preferably. A darker take but still humorous and likable. I grew up on that and the 80's cartoon and 1990's movies. Thank the lord I got that. The turtles are the best part of this movie. They deliver some funny lines although not everyone of them hit. Like you can feel that the jokes were modeled for kids which the whole movie is basically. It's like a big toy commercial. Or a Crush soda commercial. Or a Samsung phone and tablet commercial. Yeeeeah lot of product placement in this movie. Very obvious at that. Anyways as for the other characters we have April O'Neil played by Megan Fox who was alright. I really wish they worked on her dramatic screams though because those were just awful. We also have Will Arnett as her camera man who I guess is supposed to be the comic relief in this movie but literally does not have one funny joke in the whole thing even though you can feel you're supposed to be laughing but I didn't even smirk. It was like watching a stand up comic bomb his performance. Splinter was an enjoyable character. You could really see how he tied this family together.
Now if there's one thing I like in a movie it's a good villain. Did I get this? No. No I did not. Shredder has no character to him at all. In the 2003 version of him he got all this character development and I learned the motivation behind why he did what he did. In this he's literally just a guy who wants to make money. Or at least help Eric Sacks (William Fichtner) make money which is a very stupid motivation in my book. Usually villains steal money for the purpose of something bigger but in this. they just want money. Which Eric already has because he lives in a freakin castle on top of a mountain! How much more money does he need?! Sigh. Shredder was just so one dimensional and uninteresting. I was so let down by this.
Well what about the effects? They're actually pretty good. They did make the turtles sweat a lot though. Like A LOT. But it looked nice so I was happy about that. One downside is the CGI went down a little when interacting with humans. Like in Transformers 4. Not much to say other than those two things because I didn't focus on it much.
One last thing and I know every reviewer is saying this but it can't be said enough. The climax of this movie literally is the end of The Amazing Spider-Man only in the day time. Seriously watch The Amazing Spider-Man before you see this and see how similar it is. It's crazy.
Going in if you know this director and producer you're not expecting anything amazing. I went in with extremely low expectations and they surpassed them but only very very slightly.
I give it a 5.5/10.
The theater had a bunch of 10 year olds who thought the movie was amazing so at least they hit their target audience. But as a long time Ninja Turtles fan I left disappointed and wanting a little more. If it earns back the money maybe a sequel will be better. It won't but a guy can dream.
So Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is the reboot to the ever so popular Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles franchise. Directed by Jonathan Liebesman for some reason and produced by Michael Bay, also for some reason. You all know the story by now. 4 mutated turtles grow up in the sewer raised by a giant rat who knows martial arts and trains them so they can protect the city from Shredder. No difference in this movie.
So the movie opens up in sort of a graphic novel type animation telling the story of the turtles which I'll admit was a nice nod to the original source material from which Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles came from. From there we meet April (Megan Fox) who's trying to get a story about the evil foot clan that have been terrorizing the city. She then witnesses the turtles stop them and follows them to get evidence of their existence. The turtles stop her and return to their master who says they need April's help. I won't spoil why. From there they must work together and stop Shredder from releasing a toxin on the city.
I wanted simply one thing from this movie after all the crap I've seen from it over the last few years. I want the turtles to be the turtles. I want them to reflect how they were in the 2003 cartoon preferably. A darker take but still humorous and likable. I grew up on that and the 80's cartoon and 1990's movies. Thank the lord I got that. The turtles are the best part of this movie. They deliver some funny lines although not everyone of them hit. Like you can feel that the jokes were modeled for kids which the whole movie is basically. It's like a big toy commercial. Or a Crush soda commercial. Or a Samsung phone and tablet commercial. Yeeeeah lot of product placement in this movie. Very obvious at that. Anyways as for the other characters we have April O'Neil played by Megan Fox who was alright. I really wish they worked on her dramatic screams though because those were just awful. We also have Will Arnett as her camera man who I guess is supposed to be the comic relief in this movie but literally does not have one funny joke in the whole thing even though you can feel you're supposed to be laughing but I didn't even smirk. It was like watching a stand up comic bomb his performance. Splinter was an enjoyable character. You could really see how he tied this family together.
Now if there's one thing I like in a movie it's a good villain. Did I get this? No. No I did not. Shredder has no character to him at all. In the 2003 version of him he got all this character development and I learned the motivation behind why he did what he did. In this he's literally just a guy who wants to make money. Or at least help Eric Sacks (William Fichtner) make money which is a very stupid motivation in my book. Usually villains steal money for the purpose of something bigger but in this. they just want money. Which Eric already has because he lives in a freakin castle on top of a mountain! How much more money does he need?! Sigh. Shredder was just so one dimensional and uninteresting. I was so let down by this.
Well what about the effects? They're actually pretty good. They did make the turtles sweat a lot though. Like A LOT. But it looked nice so I was happy about that. One downside is the CGI went down a little when interacting with humans. Like in Transformers 4. Not much to say other than those two things because I didn't focus on it much.
One last thing and I know every reviewer is saying this but it can't be said enough. The climax of this movie literally is the end of The Amazing Spider-Man only in the day time. Seriously watch The Amazing Spider-Man before you see this and see how similar it is. It's crazy.
Going in if you know this director and producer you're not expecting anything amazing. I went in with extremely low expectations and they surpassed them but only very very slightly.
I give it a 5.5/10.
The theater had a bunch of 10 year olds who thought the movie was amazing so at least they hit their target audience. But as a long time Ninja Turtles fan I left disappointed and wanting a little more. If it earns back the money maybe a sequel will be better. It won't but a guy can dream.
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Horrible MoviePermalink
kenziebaxter131313 September 2014
Warning: SpoilersTeenage Mutant Ninja Turtles has been around for many years and many kids have enjoyed it very much. Those children must be severely disappointed with this horrifying display of a once semi-interesting story line. Honestly, the new animated TMNT Nickelodeon TV show is better than this movie, and that show has some very questionable and disturbing things. For one thing, what kind of writer has plot changing scenes that are all based on conveniently placed objects or stupidity of characters? I mean really, the rat conveniently discovers an advanced ninjitsu book in a sewer? What did Jackie Chan drop his hand book last time he wrestled a crocodile? And what kind of evil mastermind, who doesn't want anything getting in his way and wants all the turtles dead, would settle for a simple 'yeah, that turtle is dead' and not even attempt to be completely certain and just basically is completely okay with that? Not only are the fight scenes terribly disappointing and short, but the jokes aren't even laugh worthy. While sitting in the theater, not even a pity laugh was uttered after the failed attempt at humor. If there is one thing TMNT is known for, it's the humor, specifically Michelangelo's jokes. It's really pathetic when the only jokes the, theoretically, funniest character can come up with are potty humor and stupidity. Nickelodeon is more clever than that, and they didn't even have as much money on the line. Yeah, the box office results for TMNT are huge, but just think about it. Box office results tell you how many people went to see the movie, not how many people actually liked the movie walking away from it. It makes you ashamed to have participated in the box office results that are leading more people to waste their money on this movie. So, basically, if you are a TMNT fan from childhood, don't waste your time if you haven't already made that mistake. And don't fool yourself into believing it's a good movie simply because you hoped it would. I would say, don't waste your time or money. I'm sorry for those of you who actually liked this movie. It is just simply disappointing, and I guess an opinion is an opinion. I just hope that you won't have to walk away wishing you hadn't walked in in the first place.
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Quite possibly the worst turtles movie ever madePermalink
vercia-poance14 August 2014
Story, presentation, originality, humor, character presentation and acting are all things obviously left unexplored in this epically abysmal 2014 installation of the turtles franchise.
The action sequences are bland but plentiful. Faithfulness to the original series is lost. Megan Fox acting is quite possibly the worst part of the movie, unbelievable and disconnected throughout.
With as many franchises that he shits on, I advice you to try to stay as far away as possible from anything Michael Bay touches in the future.
If you look at it objectively it's like a mash between most popular action films with extremely distinguishable parts taken from others. Combind that with a story so shallow and predictable that a 5 minute trailer video would be a more appropriate medium for this release. We mourn the times when action movies didn't make us cringe in every other scene.
The action sequences are bland but plentiful. Faithfulness to the original series is lost. Megan Fox acting is quite possibly the worst part of the movie, unbelievable and disconnected throughout.
With as many franchises that he shits on, I advice you to try to stay as far away as possible from anything Michael Bay touches in the future.
If you look at it objectively it's like a mash between most popular action films with extremely distinguishable parts taken from others. Combind that with a story so shallow and predictable that a 5 minute trailer video would be a more appropriate medium for this release. We mourn the times when action movies didn't make us cringe in every other scene.
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Teenage Mutant CGI Turtles.Permalink
metalrage66628 September 2014
Warning: SpoilersAll I can say is thank God I was given a free ticket to see this garbage as I can't understand why anyone would want to spend money to sit through this. This whole movie was just drivel from beginning to end and I can guarantee that there is are better ways to waste 100 minutes of your life.
I won't even bother with trying to put into words the overall story, if there even is one, but I can't help but wonder why this was even necessary. The turtles came to fame in the late eighties/early nineties and given the success of the cartoon, it spawned 3 live action movies, yet by the late nineties the turtle fad faded and despite there being a cartoon series in the mid 2000's and another movie, this whole exercise of doing this reboot, or re-tool or re-imagining etc. now in 2014 seems pointless, even if there is a newish cartoon series doing the rounds.
The movie of course has the obligatory origins of the turtles and splinter but again, was that even necessary? The action is fast paced and frenetic and despite the overly well choreographed fight sequences and the action taking place, the whole movie was just plain boring. Maybe I've seen just too much of this before or maybe the whole issue of Michael Bay sucking the life out of everything that we grew up with is wearing thin. First Transformers and now this. What's next? Michael Bay and the Muppets or Fraggle Rock?
The dialogue is unfunny and lame, the action sequences were tedious and predictable, you don't care for any of the characters, the fight scenes were ho-hum, and the ending was as clichéd as any I've seen. The scene where they are all falling, and then skiing and then sliding down the mountain and avoiding getting killed, hurt, crushed and everything else that would normally happen, is enough to give anyone an epileptic seizure right there and then. And no doubt we can look forward to sequels of this, as of course Michael Bay will want to cash in on the success of anything until there's nothing left but a pile of shrivelled excrement.
In the immortal words of Bart Simpson, 'I didn't think it was physically possible, but this movie both sucks and blows'. And that right there is what you can expect from this trash.
I won't even bother with trying to put into words the overall story, if there even is one, but I can't help but wonder why this was even necessary. The turtles came to fame in the late eighties/early nineties and given the success of the cartoon, it spawned 3 live action movies, yet by the late nineties the turtle fad faded and despite there being a cartoon series in the mid 2000's and another movie, this whole exercise of doing this reboot, or re-tool or re-imagining etc. now in 2014 seems pointless, even if there is a newish cartoon series doing the rounds.
The movie of course has the obligatory origins of the turtles and splinter but again, was that even necessary? The action is fast paced and frenetic and despite the overly well choreographed fight sequences and the action taking place, the whole movie was just plain boring. Maybe I've seen just too much of this before or maybe the whole issue of Michael Bay sucking the life out of everything that we grew up with is wearing thin. First Transformers and now this. What's next? Michael Bay and the Muppets or Fraggle Rock?
The dialogue is unfunny and lame, the action sequences were tedious and predictable, you don't care for any of the characters, the fight scenes were ho-hum, and the ending was as clichéd as any I've seen. The scene where they are all falling, and then skiing and then sliding down the mountain and avoiding getting killed, hurt, crushed and everything else that would normally happen, is enough to give anyone an epileptic seizure right there and then. And no doubt we can look forward to sequels of this, as of course Michael Bay will want to cash in on the success of anything until there's nothing left but a pile of shrivelled excrement.
In the immortal words of Bart Simpson, 'I didn't think it was physically possible, but this movie both sucks and blows'. And that right there is what you can expect from this trash.
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A Movie Aimed for the New GenerationPermalink
SpoodermanDerp17 August 2014
Now before I begin this review let me clear the fact that this MOVIE is aiming for the new younger audience. This movie is not focusing on aiming for the fans of the past generation. So lets look at it this way.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is directed by Jonathan Liebsman and Produced by Michael Bay. It stars Megan Fox as April O'Neil, and 4 turtles who don't look that good with the CGI. With this kind of set up, its already predictable that this would be a disaster.
As I watched this movie in a theater packed with a tremendous amount of children. I guess I could say, this movie was entertaining for me. The stars of the movie are, hands down the Turtles especially Mikey. They stole the movie in every scene they were in, and I would watch a 1 hour movie with just all of them goofing around and making jokes. However, in fact the movie often negates the fact that the turtles are the main subject in this movie, it circles it's story mostly around April O'Neil. As for her character, I found her annoying at many times. And because Michael Bay has something to do with this movie, Megan Fox had to do scenes for the 'benefit' of Bay as usual. Going back to the turtles, I think that they had nailed them and captured everything that we loved about them, the movie is worth watching because of them. The Villains are one of the weak points of this film. Shredder is a very dull, boring and predictable villain. He is only there for what I believe is fan service. Other than that, his motives are unclear and the reason he is in this movie is for the battle scenes.
As for the story, it is filled with unbelievable amounts of cliché. Because of this, I had no choice but to be irritated at times or sometimes these scenes gave no effect to me whatsoever even if the main intention of the scene was entirely different. The evil plot of the villain, was downright cringe worthy, plot holes were circling from there and there. . Clichés and plot holes aside, the story is what I would imagine for children and all of us were to look it that way, then I guess I could say the plot was alright I guess. The action sequences were just OK, there were some that were interesting and some that was incredibly DIFFICULT to watch. I know Michael Bay didn't direct this, but My God. Every Michael Bay action-cliché is in this movie. The Slow Motion, Explosions, Attractive Women and the incredibly shaky camera. I almost felt dizzy watching some of the action sequences.
At the end of the day, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is a great movie to watch if you want bonding times with your kids or if you're totally high or craving for some pizza. In my opinion, it won't ruin your childhood, in fact it might even remind and bring back old memories of your childhood, with the many references being made in this movie. The kids will love this movie and I recommend everyone to bring pizza while watching it.
A dull and boring villain, a mediocre plot filled with a massive amount of clichés and Michael Bay style action sequences. without the Turtles, this movie would be pure trash.
Verdict: 6.5/10
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is directed by Jonathan Liebsman and Produced by Michael Bay. It stars Megan Fox as April O'Neil, and 4 turtles who don't look that good with the CGI. With this kind of set up, its already predictable that this would be a disaster.
As I watched this movie in a theater packed with a tremendous amount of children. I guess I could say, this movie was entertaining for me. The stars of the movie are, hands down the Turtles especially Mikey. They stole the movie in every scene they were in, and I would watch a 1 hour movie with just all of them goofing around and making jokes. However, in fact the movie often negates the fact that the turtles are the main subject in this movie, it circles it's story mostly around April O'Neil. As for her character, I found her annoying at many times. And because Michael Bay has something to do with this movie, Megan Fox had to do scenes for the 'benefit' of Bay as usual. Going back to the turtles, I think that they had nailed them and captured everything that we loved about them, the movie is worth watching because of them. The Villains are one of the weak points of this film. Shredder is a very dull, boring and predictable villain. He is only there for what I believe is fan service. Other than that, his motives are unclear and the reason he is in this movie is for the battle scenes.
As for the story, it is filled with unbelievable amounts of cliché. Because of this, I had no choice but to be irritated at times or sometimes these scenes gave no effect to me whatsoever even if the main intention of the scene was entirely different. The evil plot of the villain, was downright cringe worthy, plot holes were circling from there and there. . Clichés and plot holes aside, the story is what I would imagine for children and all of us were to look it that way, then I guess I could say the plot was alright I guess. The action sequences were just OK, there were some that were interesting and some that was incredibly DIFFICULT to watch. I know Michael Bay didn't direct this, but My God. Every Michael Bay action-cliché is in this movie. The Slow Motion, Explosions, Attractive Women and the incredibly shaky camera. I almost felt dizzy watching some of the action sequences.
At the end of the day, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is a great movie to watch if you want bonding times with your kids or if you're totally high or craving for some pizza. In my opinion, it won't ruin your childhood, in fact it might even remind and bring back old memories of your childhood, with the many references being made in this movie. The kids will love this movie and I recommend everyone to bring pizza while watching it.
A dull and boring villain, a mediocre plot filled with a massive amount of clichés and Michael Bay style action sequences. without the Turtles, this movie would be pure trash.
Verdict: 6.5/10
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Truly awfulPermalink
dunnypop29 December 2014
It took me 3 tries to get through the film.. First off I grew up watching the TMNT when I was a kid.. yes I'm old and not too jaded. I enjoyed Michael Bay's Transformers 1 & 3.. 4 is awful. I loved the first TMNT live action movie and the recent CGI animated film.. but this film is bad..
The script tries to give this film a 'modern' spin but it fails in having any logic in the film. 1. Why is the villain doing what they are doing? There's really no motive (no spoilers but you'll ask this when money is a motive but it really shouldn't be). 2. How do you learn ninjitsu through a book? 3. Why are there sexual innuendo's with the turtles and April? This is for kids? This is for adults? 4. Why is it snowing a couple of hours north away from New York City? Climate change isn't that bad. 5. How are turtles bulletproof? 6. The turtles lacked any character depth or traits. You need to go into the film knowing who the turtles are. 7. Where is the martial arts?
Overall the film started off exciting and then it was pointless and then there were some interesting action sequences.. but there was a lack of any martial arts. Avoid.
The script tries to give this film a 'modern' spin but it fails in having any logic in the film. 1. Why is the villain doing what they are doing? There's really no motive (no spoilers but you'll ask this when money is a motive but it really shouldn't be). 2. How do you learn ninjitsu through a book? 3. Why are there sexual innuendo's with the turtles and April? This is for kids? This is for adults? 4. Why is it snowing a couple of hours north away from New York City? Climate change isn't that bad. 5. How are turtles bulletproof? 6. The turtles lacked any character depth or traits. You need to go into the film knowing who the turtles are. 7. Where is the martial arts?
Overall the film started off exciting and then it was pointless and then there were some interesting action sequences.. but there was a lack of any martial arts. Avoid.
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Turtle DroppingsPermalink
utgard1422 November 2014
What a stinker! These Turtles are big gross slimy steroid freaks. They may crack wise and talk about pizza to appeal to fans but they're lifeless and empty shells of previous representations of the characters. Abby Elliott is wasted in a bit part as Megan Fox's roommate. She would have been a better choice for April O'Neil than the Botoxed and colorless Fox. The script isn't great but some of the material could have worked better had they cast an actress with the slightest bit of talent. But no, instead we get this vapid woman who should have faded into obscurity years ago. What the hell was Will Arnett doing in this? Oh and did anyone doubt when you first see William Fichtner that he would turn out to be a bad guy? If your answer is yes, congratulations on seeing your first movie ever. Wish it was a better one. The changes made to the backstory are unnecessary and add nothing good. Poorly acted, shallow, dumb, downbeat -- it's a crappy excuse for what should be, first and foremost, escapist entertainment. The late '80s / early '90s Turtles cartoon and movies were hardly high art but at least they had an enthusiasm about them that was fun to watch. Skip this tired garbage. It's an hour and a half I'll never get back.
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Ignorance Level 99.Permalink
DeathWantsMore11 January 2015
Warning: SpoilersSo I browsed some IMDb user reviews before watching this movie and amazed by a quantity of 1-star ratings, I thought, come on its just a TMNT movie, it cant be that bad, right? But it turns out that its even worse than 1 star..
I don't know even where to start. I like the turtles design, they look pretty cool unlike those old nickelodeon cartoonish slug-turtles. Well, and thats about it.
Now to the bad things.
The story is just ridiculous. April saves turtles and Splinter from a burning lab only to bring them to the culvert and leave there on their own.!? Bullshit.
Splinter is just a plain mutated rat, not Hamato Yoshi or even his pet. The question is - how the hell he knows ninjutsu? The answer is simple according to the writers - he found some old ninjutsu related books down in the sewers and mastered them to perfection in no time. Oh, he also taught it to 4 mutated turtles and they also mastered it in like 10 years. Sounds 'great'.
Turtles seem to have super strength, destroying cars, brick walls and other huge stuff with little effort. They are supposed to be NINJAS not freaking HULKS, although Raphael looks almost exactly like Hulk from Marvel Comics.. They also seems to be somehow totally bulletproof.
Shredder.. The pain. I would fire and then kill a person who's responsible for his costume. It looks even worse than some Chinese plastic figures from the 90's. Hell, even super Shredder from The Secret of the Ooze looks better than this trash can with a swiss knifes. And not to mention he's a 2-liner, he just said 'This city will be ours' and 'Tonight I dine on turtle soup', thats surely in top 10 worse developed villains of all time.
Karai. I doubt I even heard her name once, but I assume this is Karai portrayed by Minae Noji. I think she only got slammed in the wall once during whole movie. Yes, that was her role.
Eric Sacks. WHO THE HELL IS THIS!? Why they invented such a boring and pointless character? What is he doing in this movie? Working for Shredder to get money? He's living the dream in the huge villa, I suppose he already has 'some' money, no? Like there are no other characters from TMNT universe which could participate in the movie instead.
The Foot Clan. Is a joke. Just a masked mercenaries with firearms shooting left and right, nothing more to add.
Action is there yes, but again, coated in such ignorance - any enjoyment just fades away after you learning a few things about this movie, action scenes becoming pointless to watch.
Whether you are a TMNT fan or just a person who want to see a superhero/action movie - stay away, this is clearly not what you are looking for. This is CGI pop-flick completely ignorant to the roots of TMNT and common sense in general.
1/10.
I don't know even where to start. I like the turtles design, they look pretty cool unlike those old nickelodeon cartoonish slug-turtles. Well, and thats about it.
Now to the bad things.
The story is just ridiculous. April saves turtles and Splinter from a burning lab only to bring them to the culvert and leave there on their own.!? Bullshit.
Splinter is just a plain mutated rat, not Hamato Yoshi or even his pet. The question is - how the hell he knows ninjutsu? The answer is simple according to the writers - he found some old ninjutsu related books down in the sewers and mastered them to perfection in no time. Oh, he also taught it to 4 mutated turtles and they also mastered it in like 10 years. Sounds 'great'.
Turtles seem to have super strength, destroying cars, brick walls and other huge stuff with little effort. They are supposed to be NINJAS not freaking HULKS, although Raphael looks almost exactly like Hulk from Marvel Comics.. They also seems to be somehow totally bulletproof.
Shredder.. The pain. I would fire and then kill a person who's responsible for his costume. It looks even worse than some Chinese plastic figures from the 90's. Hell, even super Shredder from The Secret of the Ooze looks better than this trash can with a swiss knifes. And not to mention he's a 2-liner, he just said 'This city will be ours' and 'Tonight I dine on turtle soup', thats surely in top 10 worse developed villains of all time.
Karai. I doubt I even heard her name once, but I assume this is Karai portrayed by Minae Noji. I think she only got slammed in the wall once during whole movie. Yes, that was her role.
Eric Sacks. WHO THE HELL IS THIS!? Why they invented such a boring and pointless character? What is he doing in this movie? Working for Shredder to get money? He's living the dream in the huge villa, I suppose he already has 'some' money, no? Like there are no other characters from TMNT universe which could participate in the movie instead.
The Foot Clan. Is a joke. Just a masked mercenaries with firearms shooting left and right, nothing more to add.
Action is there yes, but again, coated in such ignorance - any enjoyment just fades away after you learning a few things about this movie, action scenes becoming pointless to watch.
Whether you are a TMNT fan or just a person who want to see a superhero/action movie - stay away, this is clearly not what you are looking for. This is CGI pop-flick completely ignorant to the roots of TMNT and common sense in general.
1/10.
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So, you're.. Ninja Mutant Turtle Teenagers?Permalink
CowherPowerForever6 August 2014
After years of trying to bring this franchise back to the big screen, Michael Bay and his company, Platinum Dunes was able to do it. Sadly, the effort was just as sad most of the recent Michael Bay films. Without Bay behind the camera on this project, we are left with an even worse story(if that is possible), and just awful action. This is my review of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
The film was written by Josh Appelbaum, André Nemec, and Evan Daugherty. Appkebaum and Nemec recently worked on the smash hit from 2011, Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol. While Daugherty is more popularly known for witting the recent film, Divergent. With the talent level behind this film, I'm surprised at how downright awful the story was written. It is true that a director can change things around but, on this movie I know of nothing like that happening, so the blame goes to this writing crew. The story is very quick, and rushes downright absurd backstories, only to force us sub-par action scenes for most of the movie. So, basically this is your average Michael Bay film, only this time Bay is only the Producer. Having let the movie sit in for a bit, I honestly see no good in this story at all. As I said it is rushed very quickly, to push the Bay style of a film. Not sure who to blame for sure, these writers are better than this, and the effort on this film was very poor.
The film was directed by Jonathan Liebesman. Liebesman recently directed Wrath of the Titans(not an awful film at all in my opinion). His effort in this film was very poor. The action scenes seemed very forced, and look like garbage. The CGI was some of the worst I've seen in a big blockbuster like this. The acting from Meagan Fox, is as you would expect, garbage. This is nothing new and should be expected by now. Even the great William Fichtner(Eric Sacks) feels wasted in this film. That is a shame since Fichtner is one of the best actors today. Voice over work wasn't bad but, having Johnny Knoxville voice Leonardo was an awful casting decision. He literally adds an element of awful that I didn't seem coming. From the first time we hear him, you just want to punch the screen. It doesn't get any better. So, Liebesman gets a big fat failing grade for this film.
Brian Tyler composed the score for this film, and also scored the film, Into the Storm, which will be released on the same day as this film oddly enough. Just as his effort was underwhelming in that film, I also thought it was mostly underwhelming in this film. There are a few action scenes where his talent is used nicely but, overall it is nothing special.
Overall, this film is simply awful, and a giant waste of time. Sure the die-hard fans will rush out to see this movie but, a nickles worth of free advice, it will ruin your hopes. Children will likely want to see this movie as well but, be warned parents, there is a good bit of heavy action. For the rest who were on the fence to being with, if you really want to see this film, just wait until it is on home video. This is a rental at best, and even then it is a waste of perfectly good money.
I went to a RealD 3D showing and will have some comments on that as well. The 3D scenes are pretty bad. Nothing that keeps you from paying attention during the film though. It adds very little depth and even less in items of popping out at the screen. So, if you truly do go out and see this film, then bypassing the 3D is the best option. Save that extra money.
2/10
The film was written by Josh Appelbaum, André Nemec, and Evan Daugherty. Appkebaum and Nemec recently worked on the smash hit from 2011, Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol. While Daugherty is more popularly known for witting the recent film, Divergent. With the talent level behind this film, I'm surprised at how downright awful the story was written. It is true that a director can change things around but, on this movie I know of nothing like that happening, so the blame goes to this writing crew. The story is very quick, and rushes downright absurd backstories, only to force us sub-par action scenes for most of the movie. So, basically this is your average Michael Bay film, only this time Bay is only the Producer. Having let the movie sit in for a bit, I honestly see no good in this story at all. As I said it is rushed very quickly, to push the Bay style of a film. Not sure who to blame for sure, these writers are better than this, and the effort on this film was very poor.
The film was directed by Jonathan Liebesman. Liebesman recently directed Wrath of the Titans(not an awful film at all in my opinion). His effort in this film was very poor. The action scenes seemed very forced, and look like garbage. The CGI was some of the worst I've seen in a big blockbuster like this. The acting from Meagan Fox, is as you would expect, garbage. This is nothing new and should be expected by now. Even the great William Fichtner(Eric Sacks) feels wasted in this film. That is a shame since Fichtner is one of the best actors today. Voice over work wasn't bad but, having Johnny Knoxville voice Leonardo was an awful casting decision. He literally adds an element of awful that I didn't seem coming. From the first time we hear him, you just want to punch the screen. It doesn't get any better. So, Liebesman gets a big fat failing grade for this film.
Brian Tyler composed the score for this film, and also scored the film, Into the Storm, which will be released on the same day as this film oddly enough. Just as his effort was underwhelming in that film, I also thought it was mostly underwhelming in this film. There are a few action scenes where his talent is used nicely but, overall it is nothing special.
Overall, this film is simply awful, and a giant waste of time. Sure the die-hard fans will rush out to see this movie but, a nickles worth of free advice, it will ruin your hopes. Children will likely want to see this movie as well but, be warned parents, there is a good bit of heavy action. For the rest who were on the fence to being with, if you really want to see this film, just wait until it is on home video. This is a rental at best, and even then it is a waste of perfectly good money.
I went to a RealD 3D showing and will have some comments on that as well. The 3D scenes are pretty bad. Nothing that keeps you from paying attention during the film though. It adds very little depth and even less in items of popping out at the screen. So, if you truly do go out and see this film, then bypassing the 3D is the best option. Save that extra money.
2/10
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The Fail is Beyond EpicPermalink
PartialMovieViewer31 December 2014
Warning: SpoilersAs with most redoes, the original is so much better. The 'Turtles' of the 90's relied heavily on snarky one-liners; likable characters and some really good humor. This move effectively discards all aforementioned attributes and glues its storyline to over-the-top CGI (typical), oh-so-very-special effects and poor lighting. Oh, and the powers-to-be smacked this chelonian trio with the un-funny stick so hard, I suggest discarding any plans for sequels. I did watch this movie and felt overwhelmed by the hum-drum boredom spewing from the screen. At first I thought all would be saved when April O'Neil entered. At least in the original, that's what happened when Judith Hoag's strong personality came on scene. Hoag's April successfully bridged the gap between real-world and sewer world, and further strengthened the brotherly bond of the turtles. I'm sorry, but Megan Fox just seemed wrong for the part. She is a very pretty woman, but she was not the right fit. I must be fare and say that it is not all her fault. These personalities of these turtles seemed much more superficial than the ones in the earlier movie(s), and that might have made her job more difficult. Anyways, like 'The Green Hornet', 'The Green Lantern', and - even 'Superman', I am over redoes. I will not watch the sequel and will try to erase this fail from my memory.
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Horrible Film, Thanks Michael Bay and Megan Fox for Ruining it.Permalink
masondelozier12 August 2014
Warning: SpoilersThis movie was just horrible, it had absolutely nothing to do with the original story and plot of the TMNT. Splinter and the turtles were April's pets? And instead of Splinter being the rat of his master in the foot clan mimicking his movements he learns from a book he finds in the sewer. Megan Fox is also just a horrible actress who happens to be the absolute most unqualified person to be playing the role of April O'neil. If Megan Fox was not in the movie it would be slightly more tolerable, still a horrible movie. Michael Bay proves to have no creativity and no imagination as this movie looks and feels like his just as crappy Transformers movies. It has the same dark look as the transformers. The movie had 1 or 2 fun/cool parts but it isn't worth watching the whole movie just for those parts. Shredders suit is also way overboard and entirely made out of metal. The TMNT live action movies from the 90's seems to be the only good movies considering how awful this movie is, I cannot express how awful this movie is.
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Congratulations Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3. You are no longer the worst TMNT movie ever.Permalink
jediforce108 August 2014
Warning: SpoilersBefore I begin this, I want to say I'm not exactly the biggest TMNT fan out there. Having said that though, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is so bad that it'll probably make any fan, whether they be casual(like me) or a die hard fan. When trailers of the film first came out, I thought it looked like the new Transformers movie. But when I finished seeing it, and noticing Michael Bay was behind it, I had a bad feeling about it.
Even though Bay is only producing and Jonathan Liebesman is the director, who was behind Battle: Los Angeles, this film still feels like a Michael Bay film. From the over the top explosions, really loud sound effects that'll probably make you deaf, and, of course, Megan (I can't act) Fox.
The story is mostly recycled from the first TMNT film from way back in 1990. The Foot Clan is terrorizing New York City and crime is at an all time high there. Apparently, though, they want to ally themselves with some corporate guy, spread a toxin, and sell the cure to the government for money. After that, we are pretty much treated to the typical Michael Bay stuff you'd see.
The fight scenes are very similar to that of Bay's four Transfomers movies. They're long, very bloated, and everything is pretty much exploding like every item is combustible. I was somehow expecting Optimus Prime to somehow show up. Though, part of me wants to say this was action stuff Bay had not time in to fit in Transformers 4 and decided to use it here.
The acting is a mixed bag. The actors voicing the turtles are decent enough and are rather believable. They also do a decent job keeping the turtles to their same personality, sometimes. However, Megan Fox is NOT cut out to be April O'Neil. She just has this constant dull surprise expression, or is staring at the camera, not sure how to react. Not to mention she's not tough or confident like in the TV shows. She's more of a coward than anything. Tohoru Masamune is a very mediocre Shredder. I don't feel intimidated by him at all. The original Shredder in the first two TMNT films was much better than Masamune here.
Perhaps the actors could've done better if the script wasn't so bad. The dialogue is bland as sawdust and it looks like some of the actors seem embarrassed by what they have to say sometimes.
Not to mention they get the origins of the TMNT and Splinter wrong. Instead of Splinter being Hamato Yoshi's pet, or Hamato Yoshi himself, he turns out to belong to April when she was younger, along with the four turtles. The turtles themselves were actually supposed to be found by Splinter, but instead they all end up in the sewer together. So forget following continuity or respecting the source material.
The jokes provided by the turtles are not funny either. Instead of clever gags or witty jokes from our heroes, we're treated to fart jokes and other raunchy material.
Speaking of which, the Turtles look ugly. I know they're supposed to be mutants and going for some realism here since it's live action, but this is ridiculous. I couldn't be intimidated with how goofy they look, even if one held a gun to my head. The animation for them is also stiff as a wooden board and, I swear, lip syncing looked off.
Perhaps the worst part of this movie is that it doesn't have any of the joy or fun of TMNT. It's extremely dark and joyless. While there were dark elements in the shows it had, it was lighthearted most of the time. Here, the film is dark and probably dark for the sake of being so. There's no joy, no fun, no laughs to be found. It's rather depressing instead.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fails as a reboot to the franchise and triumphs as a means of insulting the hardcore fans who love the TMNT since the first TV show. If its story isn't taking its sweet time to get going, its throwing bad jokes at you. Not to mention bad acting, bloated action scenes, horrible CGI turtles, and pretty much straying far too much from the TV shows everyone grew to love. And the stuff that does have to do with the shows feels like a slap in the face.
Sadly, I've heard that a sequel is in the works already. What's worse is that they're bringing in Casey Jones and Beebop and Rocksteady. Stick to the TV shows and the three movies I say and spare yourself the agony of this film and its possible sequels.
Even though Bay is only producing and Jonathan Liebesman is the director, who was behind Battle: Los Angeles, this film still feels like a Michael Bay film. From the over the top explosions, really loud sound effects that'll probably make you deaf, and, of course, Megan (I can't act) Fox.
The story is mostly recycled from the first TMNT film from way back in 1990. The Foot Clan is terrorizing New York City and crime is at an all time high there. Apparently, though, they want to ally themselves with some corporate guy, spread a toxin, and sell the cure to the government for money. After that, we are pretty much treated to the typical Michael Bay stuff you'd see.
The fight scenes are very similar to that of Bay's four Transfomers movies. They're long, very bloated, and everything is pretty much exploding like every item is combustible. I was somehow expecting Optimus Prime to somehow show up. Though, part of me wants to say this was action stuff Bay had not time in to fit in Transformers 4 and decided to use it here.
The acting is a mixed bag. The actors voicing the turtles are decent enough and are rather believable. They also do a decent job keeping the turtles to their same personality, sometimes. However, Megan Fox is NOT cut out to be April O'Neil. She just has this constant dull surprise expression, or is staring at the camera, not sure how to react. Not to mention she's not tough or confident like in the TV shows. She's more of a coward than anything. Tohoru Masamune is a very mediocre Shredder. I don't feel intimidated by him at all. The original Shredder in the first two TMNT films was much better than Masamune here.
Perhaps the actors could've done better if the script wasn't so bad. The dialogue is bland as sawdust and it looks like some of the actors seem embarrassed by what they have to say sometimes.
Not to mention they get the origins of the TMNT and Splinter wrong. Instead of Splinter being Hamato Yoshi's pet, or Hamato Yoshi himself, he turns out to belong to April when she was younger, along with the four turtles. The turtles themselves were actually supposed to be found by Splinter, but instead they all end up in the sewer together. So forget following continuity or respecting the source material.
The jokes provided by the turtles are not funny either. Instead of clever gags or witty jokes from our heroes, we're treated to fart jokes and other raunchy material.
Speaking of which, the Turtles look ugly. I know they're supposed to be mutants and going for some realism here since it's live action, but this is ridiculous. I couldn't be intimidated with how goofy they look, even if one held a gun to my head. The animation for them is also stiff as a wooden board and, I swear, lip syncing looked off.
Perhaps the worst part of this movie is that it doesn't have any of the joy or fun of TMNT. It's extremely dark and joyless. While there were dark elements in the shows it had, it was lighthearted most of the time. Here, the film is dark and probably dark for the sake of being so. There's no joy, no fun, no laughs to be found. It's rather depressing instead.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fails as a reboot to the franchise and triumphs as a means of insulting the hardcore fans who love the TMNT since the first TV show. If its story isn't taking its sweet time to get going, its throwing bad jokes at you. Not to mention bad acting, bloated action scenes, horrible CGI turtles, and pretty much straying far too much from the TV shows everyone grew to love. And the stuff that does have to do with the shows feels like a slap in the face.
Sadly, I've heard that a sequel is in the works already. What's worse is that they're bringing in Casey Jones and Beebop and Rocksteady. Stick to the TV shows and the three movies I say and spare yourself the agony of this film and its possible sequels.
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I can't take it anymorePermalink
minibeech039 August 2014
Warning: SpoilersI cannot take it anymore. No, I'm not referring to Michael Bay. I have no issues with him. He was nothing but a co-producer. What I can't take is how lovers of this movie can't see what was wrong with it. I'm a long time turtles fan. Born in the 80s, grew up on the TV show, seen all movies and series, and had many action-figures. This movie was disappointing. I'm not saying it's terrible and normally I don't really agree with critics, but this time, I'm inclined to. It simply wasn't that great. Here are the reasons why:
1 - This is the biggest mistake of the movie of which I still can't understand how they didn't realize it. The back-story/history between Yamato Yoshi and Shredder. There was no mention of Yoshi. Splinter was nothing but a NYC rat, experimented on with the 4 turtles. They escaped a fire and found themselves in the sewer. Why does Splinter have a Japanese style moustache and know everything about the shredder? Sacks mentioned a bit about Shredders rival clan back in Japan never went into details nor gave any indication that the rat was there or would've known anything about it. This rivalry is one of the main plot points in the history of TMNT and they took it out.
2 - The Ninja turtles are the main characters in TMNT, not Megan Fox. She had way more face time than any of the turtles. I can't even think if Leo of Donnie had more than 10 lines.
3 - Yes 3D is neat, but it's been years since we've developed it. Watching the massive overuse of close-ups and slow motion 3D was almost as painful as the slow motion action scenes in the last resident evil movies. I read one critic review mention around 800 close-up shots of Megan fox's lips. He could be right.
4 - The plot was completely generic and unoriginal. Evil man wants to release Bio chemical weapon so he can be the hero by selling the cure, making billions of dollars. Yeah, that's never been done before.
5 - Mutagen is the cure for everything? Let's pretend I buy that. Why does Donnie require eye glasses? Along with Donnie's glasses, a list of other things that made little sense. Splinter teaching himself Ninjutsu from some dirty book he finds in the sewer, somehow becomes some ninja master capable of fighting the Shredder, because remember, he's not Yamato Yoshi like he's supposed to be, nor did he have him train him as a pet rat, like the old 1990 movie did. The amount of times Shredder threatens to kill them, the amount of chances he had, yet he does not. Shooting blades from his X-men style silver samurai armour(that fly back and reattach by the way) while fighting splinter. Then just punch-stabs him once and tosses him down. Later fighting Raf, threatening to kill him. Just cracks his shell and walks away. The ridiculous fight scene, consisting of a semi being drive down an extremely steep, snowy mountain side. Not once coming close to losing its balance or crashing. With the turtles sliding down the mountain on their shells, keeping up with the speeding vehicles and staying ahead of the avalanche they cause. April trying to convince her boss of these human-sized ninja turtle teenagers. She actually has a decent photograph but doesn't show her and gets fired. Tracking Aprils GPS deep into the sewer. Normally many cell phones lose service just by being in a basement, let alone 50 feet below the surface. Wireless signals don't go through solid objects so well, especially the ground and dozens of feet of concrete. The ninja turtles are invincible now too. Bullets don't even penetrate.
6 - The sexual objectification of Megan Fox. The many close ups, although nice to some, not really ideal for a PG13 audience.
7 - The time-line. The movie was rushed, short intro, abrupt ending, with the simple and generic plot.
8 - Choice of actors. Arnett was the best choice for his role compared to others. He gave the little bit of comic-relief that was believable of an April O'Neil camera man. The turtles voices were okay, although I don't know how they came up with Knoxville as Leo. Megan Fox, I gave the benefit of the doubt, but didn't seem like an April to me. I found out that Anna Kendrick and Jane Levy had tried out for the role. Either one would've been a better choice.
9 - My last point is Hollywood in general. They seem more concerned about finding ways to maximize profit as opposed actually making really decent or epic movies. It just seems like they chose to do TMNT knowing how popular it already was anyways, then not really care how good of a job they did. In the end, it will likely make half a billion over a year anyways. Many movies lately are nothing but big names, product placement, and the mention of famous producers/directors. My dislike of this movie had nothing to do with BAY as the lovers of the movie seem to think. There's 5 other producers and 4 executive producers. People should realize that someone can like/ dislike movies for simply being what they are and have nothing to do with who's in it or who made it. I gave a 6 because it's still slightly entertaining but I couldn't bring myself to giving it a 7. That would require at least a good solid movie with nowhere near as many mistakes.
1 - This is the biggest mistake of the movie of which I still can't understand how they didn't realize it. The back-story/history between Yamato Yoshi and Shredder. There was no mention of Yoshi. Splinter was nothing but a NYC rat, experimented on with the 4 turtles. They escaped a fire and found themselves in the sewer. Why does Splinter have a Japanese style moustache and know everything about the shredder? Sacks mentioned a bit about Shredders rival clan back in Japan never went into details nor gave any indication that the rat was there or would've known anything about it. This rivalry is one of the main plot points in the history of TMNT and they took it out.
2 - The Ninja turtles are the main characters in TMNT, not Megan Fox. She had way more face time than any of the turtles. I can't even think if Leo of Donnie had more than 10 lines.
3 - Yes 3D is neat, but it's been years since we've developed it. Watching the massive overuse of close-ups and slow motion 3D was almost as painful as the slow motion action scenes in the last resident evil movies. I read one critic review mention around 800 close-up shots of Megan fox's lips. He could be right.
4 - The plot was completely generic and unoriginal. Evil man wants to release Bio chemical weapon so he can be the hero by selling the cure, making billions of dollars. Yeah, that's never been done before.
5 - Mutagen is the cure for everything? Let's pretend I buy that. Why does Donnie require eye glasses? Along with Donnie's glasses, a list of other things that made little sense. Splinter teaching himself Ninjutsu from some dirty book he finds in the sewer, somehow becomes some ninja master capable of fighting the Shredder, because remember, he's not Yamato Yoshi like he's supposed to be, nor did he have him train him as a pet rat, like the old 1990 movie did. The amount of times Shredder threatens to kill them, the amount of chances he had, yet he does not. Shooting blades from his X-men style silver samurai armour(that fly back and reattach by the way) while fighting splinter. Then just punch-stabs him once and tosses him down. Later fighting Raf, threatening to kill him. Just cracks his shell and walks away. The ridiculous fight scene, consisting of a semi being drive down an extremely steep, snowy mountain side. Not once coming close to losing its balance or crashing. With the turtles sliding down the mountain on their shells, keeping up with the speeding vehicles and staying ahead of the avalanche they cause. April trying to convince her boss of these human-sized ninja turtle teenagers. She actually has a decent photograph but doesn't show her and gets fired. Tracking Aprils GPS deep into the sewer. Normally many cell phones lose service just by being in a basement, let alone 50 feet below the surface. Wireless signals don't go through solid objects so well, especially the ground and dozens of feet of concrete. The ninja turtles are invincible now too. Bullets don't even penetrate.
6 - The sexual objectification of Megan Fox. The many close ups, although nice to some, not really ideal for a PG13 audience.
7 - The time-line. The movie was rushed, short intro, abrupt ending, with the simple and generic plot.
8 - Choice of actors. Arnett was the best choice for his role compared to others. He gave the little bit of comic-relief that was believable of an April O'Neil camera man. The turtles voices were okay, although I don't know how they came up with Knoxville as Leo. Megan Fox, I gave the benefit of the doubt, but didn't seem like an April to me. I found out that Anna Kendrick and Jane Levy had tried out for the role. Either one would've been a better choice.
9 - My last point is Hollywood in general. They seem more concerned about finding ways to maximize profit as opposed actually making really decent or epic movies. It just seems like they chose to do TMNT knowing how popular it already was anyways, then not really care how good of a job they did. In the end, it will likely make half a billion over a year anyways. Many movies lately are nothing but big names, product placement, and the mention of famous producers/directors. My dislike of this movie had nothing to do with BAY as the lovers of the movie seem to think. There's 5 other producers and 4 executive producers. People should realize that someone can like/ dislike movies for simply being what they are and have nothing to do with who's in it or who made it. I gave a 6 because it's still slightly entertaining but I couldn't bring myself to giving it a 7. That would require at least a good solid movie with nowhere near as many mistakes.
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Why are these people allowed to make movies?Permalink
marc54777 December 2014
The good news is that this is better than the last turtles movie. The bad news is the last turtles movie was horrendous. The title should tell it all. I really don't understand how certain people retain their jobs in Hollywood. The only reason this movie is afloat is due to legacy. It could have been written by kindergartners and it would have performed just as well. Might as well let someone new have a shot instead of paying these idiots for doing average or below work.
Back to the movie, the writing is horrendous. The only thing that is makes this better than the last movie is the action and graphics are better but that is just because it is more modern. There is nothing to like here. Characters are forgettable to unlikable. Jokes were not funny. Hip hop culture references are embarrassing.. reminded me of the horrible transformers movie with those dancing autobots.. wow that was bad. Slow motion action scenes are cheesy and overdone.
Absolutely no good points to make about this movie.
Back to the movie, the writing is horrendous. The only thing that is makes this better than the last movie is the action and graphics are better but that is just because it is more modern. There is nothing to like here. Characters are forgettable to unlikable. Jokes were not funny. Hip hop culture references are embarrassing.. reminded me of the horrible transformers movie with those dancing autobots.. wow that was bad. Slow motion action scenes are cheesy and overdone.
Absolutely no good points to make about this movie.
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The rubbish i thought it would be.Permalink
mattslim33314 December 2014
This being a TMNT movie, I thought it would be a bit stupid, but not so stupid the film becomes a farce of the franchise. I don't feel the comedy in the movie works well, and the jokes don't come over to the human characters. Another problem was the sheer amount of pointless back story. The turtles are so bogged down in this some of them lose there characteristics, whereas the humans have zero back story.
The only way the movie redeems itself(slightly) is through the CGI towards the end of the film. It makes the action feel real, even though the film is about ninja turtles. This being produced by Michael Bay, we can expect this, however I feel the rest of the film didn't live up to this, making the film shocking and lacking in any real plot or involving elements that make movies good.
The only way the movie redeems itself(slightly) is through the CGI towards the end of the film. It makes the action feel real, even though the film is about ninja turtles. This being produced by Michael Bay, we can expect this, however I feel the rest of the film didn't live up to this, making the film shocking and lacking in any real plot or involving elements that make movies good.
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Yuck.Permalink
crunchypepper-665-6852608 August 2014
Warning: SpoilersPretty bad movie. Total Hollywood fluff. This is a kid's movie to the hilt, and totally one dimensional. Some movies can pull off being a kid's movie but still be quite entertaining for adults, this is not one of those movies. Everything about every character and the whole story line is one dimensional. I don't know if it's because Fox has had so much botox, or simply because she's a terrible actress, but her facial expressions were awful. Every time she reacted to something it was so deadpan, so forced. same with the annunciation in her voice whenever anything happened. She is awful. Takes a lot away from the movie.
Shredder lame as hell, and getting rid of the Splinter-Shredder connection?? wtf? That's like the heart of the story of the turtles. Splinter learning perfect ninjistsu from a book? c'mon.
I'm glad Donnie's genetics had a predisposition that he was going to be omg such nerd, with the vision problems, heavy breathing, snorting laugh, nasly voice.
Mikey, my favorite turtle, had me cringing the whole movie. I think 75% of his lines were about how Fox was *'omg so hot', 'omg she my gf OK guyse'. Uh ohes, I farted!! Dumb, dumb, dumb.
I don't have any major gripes with Leo and Raph's characters, other than Leo being pretty shallow and uninteresting and every turtle was hulked out like a mofo, indestructible as hell. Unnecessary.
Why is the mutagen going to cure Splinter? The whole Vernon loves April arc seemed pretty forced too. Arnett was the perfect choice for Vernon, but he certainly wasn't the Vernon we know from the 80's cartoon.
This movie sucked. It deserves all the bad reviews it is getting.
Shredder lame as hell, and getting rid of the Splinter-Shredder connection?? wtf? That's like the heart of the story of the turtles. Splinter learning perfect ninjistsu from a book? c'mon.
I'm glad Donnie's genetics had a predisposition that he was going to be omg such nerd, with the vision problems, heavy breathing, snorting laugh, nasly voice.
Mikey, my favorite turtle, had me cringing the whole movie. I think 75% of his lines were about how Fox was *'omg so hot', 'omg she my gf OK guyse'. Uh ohes, I farted!! Dumb, dumb, dumb.
I don't have any major gripes with Leo and Raph's characters, other than Leo being pretty shallow and uninteresting and every turtle was hulked out like a mofo, indestructible as hell. Unnecessary.
Why is the mutagen going to cure Splinter? The whole Vernon loves April arc seemed pretty forced too. Arnett was the perfect choice for Vernon, but he certainly wasn't the Vernon we know from the 80's cartoon.
This movie sucked. It deserves all the bad reviews it is getting.
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Worst movie of 2014Permalink
Dark_Lord_Mark27 October 2014
Michael Bay made the Ninja Mutant Teenage Turtles(When you see it you'll get the phrase), into 4 stereotypical black guys. Not joking.
This is typical Mike Bay sexual innuendos, fart jokes, awkward white guy, fat unattractive woman playing a mans role(Whoppie), CGI galore..I mean it goes on.
It's meant for 12 year old kids, and oh my gosh Meagan Fox's face looks terrible. She had some facial work done and it was bad. Michael Bay cannot seem to go five minutes without trying to convince the audience Megan Fox is hot.
Did I mention their was a fart scene? Each Turtle had a stereotypical black personality that clearly shows Mr. Bay has no black friends outside Will Smith.
Michael Bay only saw the fight scenes of the original turtles as he kept trying to mimic the Shredder vs turtles fight scene from turtles(1990) in particular Shredder vs. Leo.
An Splinter, oh my splinter, was handled poorly. He was unlikeable from the start as he was a tough abusive father, rather than a master of his surroundings.
This movie is a 1..NOT A GOOD FILM!
This is typical Mike Bay sexual innuendos, fart jokes, awkward white guy, fat unattractive woman playing a mans role(Whoppie), CGI galore..I mean it goes on.
It's meant for 12 year old kids, and oh my gosh Meagan Fox's face looks terrible. She had some facial work done and it was bad. Michael Bay cannot seem to go five minutes without trying to convince the audience Megan Fox is hot.
Did I mention their was a fart scene? Each Turtle had a stereotypical black personality that clearly shows Mr. Bay has no black friends outside Will Smith.
Michael Bay only saw the fight scenes of the original turtles as he kept trying to mimic the Shredder vs turtles fight scene from turtles(1990) in particular Shredder vs. Leo.
An Splinter, oh my splinter, was handled poorly. He was unlikeable from the start as he was a tough abusive father, rather than a master of his surroundings.
This movie is a 1..NOT A GOOD FILM!
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AwfulPermalink
clownzombie33328 August 2014
I wish i was able to give this lower than 1 star. The movie was all over the place and really seemed like it was made for kids and to torture adults. If only this was made like the 90's teenage mutant ninja turtles movies then it may of had a chance but, it even made the third movie seem great. I really think that this is the first movie that I have seen that Johnny Knoxville is in that I did not like. Bay really needs to not make anymore remakes, he goes nuts with special effects and that's not what movies are about, it's a great story like and good actors. If you didn't see this yet, run as far away as you can.
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avoid critics and enjoyPermalink
stermix50128 November 2014
I luckily avoid reading opinions before seeing a movie. This movie was a perfect entertainment for the less than 1h50 that it lasts. Although I had enjoyed watching TNMT anime when I was adolescent, I've never been a hardcore fan and it is true that I cannot spot any of the traits that other purists criticized about. What I certainly know is that it was a nice combination of Transformers/Batman/Martial-art material based on a plot that seemed solid and justified.
Megan-April was more Megan than April, but she is the right actress for that sort of character. She is not the true red-hair girl I would prefer to see, but she is not less successful than fake blonde J.Alba in Fantastic4, or fake-redhead Scarlett J. in the Avengers. She has the right age and overall stature for the role and she is always fun to watch.
The turtles were very versatile and realistic in all ways and I liked that each one got an emphasized ability (or weakness!), differentiating from the anime where all looked quite the same.
The action sequences were mind-blowing, synchronized at the ultimate speed the human eye can perceive them. Unlike transformers and other movies where the action and fight are so messy, shaken and difficult to follow that you wished to just skip forward to the outcome, in this case it is absorbing, spectacular and humorous. Which is what all TNMT productions are really about.
The music, production design, voices and sound are exactly as they should be to throw you into the screen.
It might not be a 10, but in front of all those purists destroying franchises, 10 is the least I could give to hope for at least 2 sequels. And I don't mind who ever purist out there may just avoid it.
Don't miss it!
Megan-April was more Megan than April, but she is the right actress for that sort of character. She is not the true red-hair girl I would prefer to see, but she is not less successful than fake blonde J.Alba in Fantastic4, or fake-redhead Scarlett J. in the Avengers. She has the right age and overall stature for the role and she is always fun to watch.
The turtles were very versatile and realistic in all ways and I liked that each one got an emphasized ability (or weakness!), differentiating from the anime where all looked quite the same.
The action sequences were mind-blowing, synchronized at the ultimate speed the human eye can perceive them. Unlike transformers and other movies where the action and fight are so messy, shaken and difficult to follow that you wished to just skip forward to the outcome, in this case it is absorbing, spectacular and humorous. Which is what all TNMT productions are really about.
The music, production design, voices and sound are exactly as they should be to throw you into the screen.
It might not be a 10, but in front of all those purists destroying franchises, 10 is the least I could give to hope for at least 2 sequels. And I don't mind who ever purist out there may just avoid it.
Don't miss it!
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Michael Bay Explosions with TurtlesPermalink
buny1019 August 2014
Wow. Explosions+Ninja Turtles=Michael Payday Bay. He'll make money. He didn't direct this but did produce it. It had his fingerprints all over it, and so it doesn't matter.
Basic story: There are villains running around the city. No one has the guts to stand up to them, and the city is almost paralyzed in fear. One reporter, April O'Neil,runs across one of their heists, and finds it is stopped by a vigilante. She wants to expose the vigilante, and then soon finds out that there are actually 4 vigilantes who still stand for justice in the crime ridden city she loves. Along the way, we'll discover past connections to the vigilantes, and a few minor (predictable) plot turns, and find teamwork, brotherhood, and a boring movie even with all the explosions.
The turtles take about 15 minutes to show up. For a movie that is just over an hour and half, that is too long, also considering that much of the story is going to have to be told in flashback..and was still boring. The CGI tries to balance between creepy and cute and stays in creepy too much. The mask on the turtles or the mask off, they don't get cute. The rat is just vile. And, isn't he the same age as the turtle? Well, turtles are long lived, I guess, and so he might be nearing his mortality stage.
There are other small faults. I could have sworn I saw the scar switch from the left side to the right side on one of the turtles. The bad guys were weak and throwaway. Seriously..how bad is the unemployment out there when you take a job with a bad guy, and they murder you just to demonstrate the effectiveness of a drug? If I were another bad guy in that room, I would just casually walk over to the locker room, take off my machine gun and swords, change into my street clothes, and go take that job at McDonald's. It's bad enough that ninja turtles are gunning for you, and your own organization kills you, too? Not to mention the police or the vigilante justice that awaits you if they ever find out, so, isn't that job at McDonald's looking better all the time? They have a free meal program at McDonald's. And tuition reimbursement. But, you stay with the ninja Foot Clan? Really?
Anyways..my six year and eight year old both loved it. I was standing in a line with a guy in his 30's, who had brought his his wife and three kids to the movies. He was so excited. He told me had to drag his family there. I saw them after. He said he loved it. So..if you are a turtle fan, and there seemed to be lots of adults without kids, so maybe they are tuning into the right audience, maybe you'll love it, too. But, if you weren't a fan, I don't see a reason to spend 40-50 bucks at the theater (tickets, popcorn, soda). If you have to spend that kind of money, I'd go see Guardians of the Galaxy again. A much better movie, and funnier. Your choice.
Basic story: There are villains running around the city. No one has the guts to stand up to them, and the city is almost paralyzed in fear. One reporter, April O'Neil,runs across one of their heists, and finds it is stopped by a vigilante. She wants to expose the vigilante, and then soon finds out that there are actually 4 vigilantes who still stand for justice in the crime ridden city she loves. Along the way, we'll discover past connections to the vigilantes, and a few minor (predictable) plot turns, and find teamwork, brotherhood, and a boring movie even with all the explosions.
The turtles take about 15 minutes to show up. For a movie that is just over an hour and half, that is too long, also considering that much of the story is going to have to be told in flashback..and was still boring. The CGI tries to balance between creepy and cute and stays in creepy too much. The mask on the turtles or the mask off, they don't get cute. The rat is just vile. And, isn't he the same age as the turtle? Well, turtles are long lived, I guess, and so he might be nearing his mortality stage.
There are other small faults. I could have sworn I saw the scar switch from the left side to the right side on one of the turtles. The bad guys were weak and throwaway. Seriously..how bad is the unemployment out there when you take a job with a bad guy, and they murder you just to demonstrate the effectiveness of a drug? If I were another bad guy in that room, I would just casually walk over to the locker room, take off my machine gun and swords, change into my street clothes, and go take that job at McDonald's. It's bad enough that ninja turtles are gunning for you, and your own organization kills you, too? Not to mention the police or the vigilante justice that awaits you if they ever find out, so, isn't that job at McDonald's looking better all the time? They have a free meal program at McDonald's. And tuition reimbursement. But, you stay with the ninja Foot Clan? Really?
Anyways..my six year and eight year old both loved it. I was standing in a line with a guy in his 30's, who had brought his his wife and three kids to the movies. He was so excited. He told me had to drag his family there. I saw them after. He said he loved it. So..if you are a turtle fan, and there seemed to be lots of adults without kids, so maybe they are tuning into the right audience, maybe you'll love it, too. But, if you weren't a fan, I don't see a reason to spend 40-50 bucks at the theater (tickets, popcorn, soda). If you have to spend that kind of money, I'd go see Guardians of the Galaxy again. A much better movie, and funnier. Your choice.
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TMNT 2014 ReviewPermalink
Al_The_Strange18 August 2014
There's hardly a kid born from the 80s who has never heard of this totally bodacious group of walking, talking, pizza-eating, street-fighting reptiles. It has always been a goofy saga, but it was also hip, action-packed, and colorful. Can the same be said about the latest adaptation?
On the surface level, 2014's TMNT at least looks the part. It's a fairly breezy film that never takes itself seriously, packing on generous heapings of goofy comedy, stylish action scenes, and loads of special effects. The first half of the film takes its time to follow April O'Neil around, who inevitably uncovers the secret of the turtles' existence, and the outlandish Foot Clan plot to take over New York City. The last half of the film is pretty much all-out fighting and action, which includes a fight in the sewers, a lengthy chase scene down the slopes of a mountain, and a final showdown on top of a skyscraper. Thus, I found the last half of the film the most engaging.
It's still not without its problems though. Despite the light-hearted tone and all the jokes, very little of it made me laugh outright. The humor is quite low-brow and doofy. Action scenes will be a hit and a miss; fight scenes in the film's first half are horribly shot and edited (on purpose nonetheless). Later scenes are still hectic, but are at least watchable and fairly fun. Scenes in between try their best to keep things rolling fast and without becoming droll, but without any major emotional investment, these scenes tend to drag a bit.
Beyond the surface-level comedy and action, there's not much else to this film. The plot is pretty much a mash-up of typical TMNT fare and 2007's Transformers (also an adaptation of an 80s cartoon where human characters discover some weird life form and gets caught in the middle of a war nobody knew existed; both starring Megan Fox nonetheless). What plot the movie has is riddled with plot holes, and scenes that are simply way too unbelievable (maybe not a valid complaint for TMNT, but with the way the film tries to look believable, the film shoots its own creditability in the foot). The turtle characters are fun to watch, usually, and Splinter is one cool rat. They aren't terribly deep characters, but they are colorful, and there is just enough background to them to keep them from being total caricatures. Other characters aren't as good: April O'Neil is almost annoying as she obsesses over the turtles and shouts her findings at everybody she runs across. Her sidekick is a dork. Shredder is extremely flat, lifeless, and lacking in presence, serving little more than an excuse to have a boss fight at the end of the movie. The film draws some connections between all the characters to give their interactions more backing, but it only strains the creditability of the plot even further.
The film's photography looks good sometimes and terrible at other times. Editing is choppy. Acting is pretty lackluster from the whole crowd; Megan Fox is far from endearing despite her looks, the voice acting can be a hit or a miss, and other actors don't really take their roles seriously, for better or for worse. Writing is pretty daft. This production uses okay-looking sets, props, and costumes. Locales are pretty small-scale most of the time. Special effects vary from good to bad. Music is okay (I got to admit that I found the end credits song catchy).
This incarnation of the Turtles definitely has its flaws, but it tries to be a fun picture, and it is at least partway successful. Not everybody will be quite as easily charmed as I am, so I'm compelled to recommend approaching this movie with caution.
3/5 (Entertainment: Pretty Good Story: Marginal Film: Marginal)
On the surface level, 2014's TMNT at least looks the part. It's a fairly breezy film that never takes itself seriously, packing on generous heapings of goofy comedy, stylish action scenes, and loads of special effects. The first half of the film takes its time to follow April O'Neil around, who inevitably uncovers the secret of the turtles' existence, and the outlandish Foot Clan plot to take over New York City. The last half of the film is pretty much all-out fighting and action, which includes a fight in the sewers, a lengthy chase scene down the slopes of a mountain, and a final showdown on top of a skyscraper. Thus, I found the last half of the film the most engaging.
It's still not without its problems though. Despite the light-hearted tone and all the jokes, very little of it made me laugh outright. The humor is quite low-brow and doofy. Action scenes will be a hit and a miss; fight scenes in the film's first half are horribly shot and edited (on purpose nonetheless). Later scenes are still hectic, but are at least watchable and fairly fun. Scenes in between try their best to keep things rolling fast and without becoming droll, but without any major emotional investment, these scenes tend to drag a bit.
Beyond the surface-level comedy and action, there's not much else to this film. The plot is pretty much a mash-up of typical TMNT fare and 2007's Transformers (also an adaptation of an 80s cartoon where human characters discover some weird life form and gets caught in the middle of a war nobody knew existed; both starring Megan Fox nonetheless). What plot the movie has is riddled with plot holes, and scenes that are simply way too unbelievable (maybe not a valid complaint for TMNT, but with the way the film tries to look believable, the film shoots its own creditability in the foot). The turtle characters are fun to watch, usually, and Splinter is one cool rat. They aren't terribly deep characters, but they are colorful, and there is just enough background to them to keep them from being total caricatures. Other characters aren't as good: April O'Neil is almost annoying as she obsesses over the turtles and shouts her findings at everybody she runs across. Her sidekick is a dork. Shredder is extremely flat, lifeless, and lacking in presence, serving little more than an excuse to have a boss fight at the end of the movie. The film draws some connections between all the characters to give their interactions more backing, but it only strains the creditability of the plot even further.
The film's photography looks good sometimes and terrible at other times. Editing is choppy. Acting is pretty lackluster from the whole crowd; Megan Fox is far from endearing despite her looks, the voice acting can be a hit or a miss, and other actors don't really take their roles seriously, for better or for worse. Writing is pretty daft. This production uses okay-looking sets, props, and costumes. Locales are pretty small-scale most of the time. Special effects vary from good to bad. Music is okay (I got to admit that I found the end credits song catchy).
This incarnation of the Turtles definitely has its flaws, but it tries to be a fun picture, and it is at least partway successful. Not everybody will be quite as easily charmed as I am, so I'm compelled to recommend approaching this movie with caution.
3/5 (Entertainment: Pretty Good Story: Marginal Film: Marginal)
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